Heyz again. Hmmm. I really cannot put a finger on how I'm feeling at this moment. I was feeling depressed a few days back. I'm really angry and certain points in time today. I also felt contented with the grades I received for the tests that were given back today. It's just a mess of everything. Firstly I don't know how to react to all of these feelings at once. Next, I don't know how to sort them out from the knot they've made in my heart. I just don't know. Haha. No one has really seen me like this so here's your chance. Wow. Lolz.

I believe I can handle the other emotions on my own. However, a certain emotion has been engulfing me for quite a while now. I am really being depressed by it. So much so that other emotions were born from this single emotion such as anger for instance. I am sad. Depressed. Worried. Troubled. However you may call it, that is how I am feeling. Currently a friend of mine is ignoring me, or at least avoiding me. It's best that I avoid her for some time too but doing so really kills me. I really liked being friends with her and it's intolerable for me to go on like this. No matter how I put it, I really don't know how much longer I can stand avoiding her. If I don't avoid her, then she will get even more irritated at me and I'll make things worst. I really have no clue at what I did to offend her to such an extent. I really can't take much more of this. Really. I usually thought that I could well up my feelings and soon they'll go away or dissipate or something. As long as those feelings are not shown, I do not care what happens to it. However now I think that bubble in my heart is going to break soon. It doesn't take much to burst a bubble. But this is my heart's bubble. It's taken beatings throughout my life, especially a few years back but I guess it's getting too full. There's no where else it can go to. So I guess it's going to burst. This is what's happening now. I'm losing control of my emotions (so much for Occlumency lolz). I AM BREAKING DOWN.

There. Some of it has got to go somewhere. This blog became it's new home I guess. To my friend who has been avoiding me, please. I really can't take it avoiding you for much longer. I do not know why you are avoiding me. It's literally tearing me apart to avoid you. I do not want to do this for much longer. I want things to go back to how they were. We being friends. I can freely talk to you and the same goes for you. I can joke around with you sometimes. (Shucks, maybe a time turner would do the trick) I really want us to go back to those times. I do not want us to be this way. Please. Please. Please. Let us go back. Let us just forget about what had happened and go back. Please.

I am taking this opportunity to apologise to you. I AM SORRY. PLEASE. I AM REALLY SORRY. FORGIVE ME FOR ANYTHING THAT YOU ARE DISTURBED WITH. Please. I am sorry. Forgive me. Please. Let us go back to how they were. Please. Let us be able to talk to each other again. Allow me to even look at you from away without any troubled feelings accompanying me. I am sorry. Please. I hope you can forgive whatever I have done wrong. I am really sorry. I can't avoid you for much longer. Please. I want to be friends with you again. Please. Allow me that privellege to be friends with you again. After the things we've been through, please do not let this ruin it. Please. I am sorry. I am sorry. I AM SORRY!

7:20 PM

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