Heyz. Back again for another post. I was in the midst of thinking about something when it struck me that I could post it on this blog. I mean, what else would this blog be for? (other than publicising my passion for Harry Potter... ). Yeah its one of those times when I think the stuff that's going through my mind is worth posting about. Hmmm... better stop this beating round the bush thing and get straight to my thoughts.

Hmmm... quick reflection of the CCAs I've been in through my life. During primary school, I was a librarian for a few years before changing to English Drama Club. Next in secondary school, I joined the Chess Club. I was never involved in any of the uniform groups but people say I have the looks of an NPCC guy. Hmmm... reflecting about that near the end of my sec 4... maybe I could have done well in NPCC. Know quite a few of them to say the least even though I was in Chess. Then here we come to JC. Currently in Bowling. What drove me to join TJC was to join Billiards. Sadly, missed the trails and hence didn't get in. From what I've heard, it's closing down anyway so it doesn't really matter whether I got through the trails or not. But while having Billiards in my mind as my main CCA, I did consider Bowling to be my second CCA. Liked the sport and made me more driven to want to learn to play it properly indirectly by Alvin. Just because he was in Youth and quite good at it, I just felt like wanting to win him at it. Far from it now though haha so no worries there Alvin ;) Anyway then circumstances put me into hearing about bowling so now desperate for a CCA and also realising that bowling could actually be my main CCA, quickly joined. A bit on impulse but up till now no regrets of joining Bowling. Maybe there's some but too trivial to be mentioned.

Your point?, I hear you ask. I think I'm more like a Jack of all trades. I was never excellent at Chess, though I can play well if I'm on form. I also learned Badminton from my dad since young. I think I still preserved my badminton skills but as I mentioned earlier, they aren't that super. Yeah I do admit I'm an average player, but that's just it haha. Currently Bowling is progessing fine. Learning new stuff in trainings. Improving my basics so that I can manage the other techniques. In short, I'm making good progress. However being the worrisome and slightly negative person that I am, I know will be able to hit that 120 - 140 range. But I have a feeling that I'll just be like that. That may be true as to really hit those higher score range like 160 - 200+, you really need more time to learn and improve your skills. Only having one year to learn, I doubt I'll be able to get that range but of course I'll try my best to beat Qing Hui :D But after that 1 year of training, formal training for bowling will no longer continue for me and I guess my skills will remain where they left off. I know quite a few of you should be quite puzzled about what I just said above but my point is this. I feel that I can do many things, but not really being excellent at anything.

Advantages of a Jack-of-all-trades? Versatile. Adaptability. Useful. But sometimes that satisfaction of really being good at something isn't there. Some people have extremes in their skills while others are somewhat consistent throughout. By being a do-all kind of person, I don't really feel that I'm excellent at much. There are some stuff that I have pride for myself in but I'm not sure too. I think I can attribute this feeling of not being excellent at much with my low self-confidence. Yes I admit and know I have a low confidence. Developed it over the years I guess. Can't remember from what incidences but yeah. I do try to overcome it from time to time. But whatever it is, there will always be times when I'm low and it engulfes me sometimes.

Nevertheless, I can overcome this problem from time to time. I am good at many things if I lower my expectations of being "excellent" so that I can have more satisfaction in the things I do. I will still beat you at bowling one day, Qing Hui, and you better beat me at studies. I will still strive to be better or on par with Alvin, though this is more of a personal goal thing. Nothing on you Alvin if you're reading this. Just challenging myself lol. I guess I need to reanalyse my expectations of myself. Don't worry I'll get through this phase. Just a random thought though. After a day's sleep (which I require after the loss of sleep due to WR), it'll be fine again. Just that sometimes my mind tends to think about some stuff. Philosophical you might say. Worrisome. Whatever it is, I'm just that kind of person. Think more about stuff than I actually voice out. Think of consequences. Think of reactions. Think of other people's opinion. Think a lot really. I'm like some kind of machine, checking through every factor before I actually do something. Developed this kind of thinking because in the past I tend to unknowingly insult people by not considering about all this. You might say its a bit too much but hey, that's what I now do to prevent such things from happening again.

Alrighty. Doubt you could understand that post. Like I said, just a random thought. Nothing to worry about. Feeling bored (something that I don't usually feel recently). Should make best use of this kinda moment. Play! haha. See you then.

9:20 PM

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